Dating with intention can begin with a plain statement of what you are looking for and an honest question about what the person you are dating wants. Wanting a relationship does not mean deciding that this particular person must become your partner. Keep your aim, your present agreement and what you still need to learn separate.
Write an aim you can explain
The Gottman Institute’s guidance on assertive communication includes identifying what you want and expressing a specific request. Applied to dating, that can help you replace a vague hope with a sentence you can discuss.
An example is: “I am interested in a committed relationship if we both find the connection right.” Another person might honestly want casual dating. Use the sentence that describes your aim, not the one you think will secure another date.
Ask about their aim without supplying the answer
You could say: “What are you hoping for from dating at the moment?” If they answer vaguely, ask what that means in practice. “Keeping things open” might need clarification; it is not automatically a promise of eventual commitment.
A sample follow-up is: “Are you open to discussing an exclusive relationship, or are you choosing casual dating?” Leave room for an answer you may not want. A reading cannot convert an unclear reply into a commitment.
Separate interest from an agreement
Write three short notes: what you want, what they have said and what you have agreed together. If exclusivity has not been discussed, leave it in the unresolved column.
For the specific conversation about seeing other people, read our guide to asking whether you are exclusive. That question is separate from enjoying dates or saying that you want a relationship in general.
Choose a next step that fits what you know
Imagine you want regular dates while the other person says they cannot offer them. Your next step might be another conversation or choosing not to continue. Do not write a plan that depends on silently changing their answer.
You could say: “I enjoy seeing you, but the arrangement you described does not fit what I am looking for.” This is sample wording for a mismatch, not a judgment that either person has failed at dating.
Explore your question in a personal reading
For a symbolic perspective on your connection with this person, you can ask a custom question in a Signature Video Reading: “What am I noticing about whether this dating connection fits my intentions?” Koko personally records the reading, starting at $99 for 15+ minutes. Standard delivery is 7–10 days; optional 24-hour Express adds $49.
Compare the formats in our guide to choosing a love reading. Readings are for entertainment and reflection. They do not establish another person’s thoughts or promise an outcome.