For this guide, quality time means time you intentionally choose to give each other attention in a way you both enjoy. It can be a conversation, a shared activity or a familiar routine. Start by asking what feels connecting to each of you instead of assuming that being in the same room meets the same need.
Ask what you are each missing
“We never spend time together” can mean several things: few shared plans, frequent interruptions or very little conversation during the time you do have. Name the part you want to change.
For example: “I enjoy watching our show, and I also miss having a conversation where we are not doing something else.” That request adds detail without declaring that the time you already share has no value. Invite your partner to explain their preference as well.
Choose one repeatable activity
Terry Gaspard’s Gottman article on rituals of connection suggests shared meals without screens and staying curious through conversation among its examples. You can consider those ideas without adopting a prescribed schedule.
An original plan might be a short weekend breakfast where you each choose one thing to talk about, or a walk to a place you both enjoy. The arrangement can be modest and inexpensive. Choose something both people actually want, not an activity that becomes another obligation.
Discuss attention and interruptions concretely
You could ask: “Would you be willing to put our phones aside for this conversation, unless one of us is expecting an urgent call?” Discuss any exception rather than turning the activity into a test.
If different gestures feel meaningful to each of you, read our guide to different love languages. A preference for shared time does not mean you have identical interests or must participate in everything together.
Review the experience rather than counting minutes alone
After trying the plan, ask what you enjoyed and whether it felt manageable. Perhaps the timing worked but the activity did not, or one person felt rushed. Adjust the specific part that did not fit.
If your concern is more about everyday contact, see asking for more communication. There is no number of planned dates that establishes another person’s feelings; pay attention to the experience and to what each person willingly agrees to continue.
Explore your question in a personal reading
For a symbolic perspective on your connection with this person, you can ask a custom question in a Signature Video Reading: “What kind of shared time would feel meaningful in my connection with this person?” Koko personally records the reading, starting at $99 for 15+ minutes. Standard delivery is 7–10 days; optional 24-hour Express adds $49.
Read our guide to choosing a love reading. Readings are for entertainment and reflection. They do not establish another person’s thoughts or promise an outcome.