Useful relationship check-in questions ask what each person appreciated, what needs discussion and what practical agreement comes next. Choose a few questions you both want to answer rather than turning the meeting into a scorecard. End by distinguishing an actual agreement from a request that still has no answer.
Choose a time and purpose
The NHS relationship guidance suggests regular check-ins and setting aside time to talk. The agenda below is a sample you can adapt, not an NHS questionnaire or a validated assessment.
A possible invitation is: “Could we set aside some time Sunday to discuss how the week felt and our plans?” Agree on the invitation rather than assuming your partner has accepted a recurring meeting.
Six questions to choose from
What moment together did you appreciate this week?
Is there something you wanted to say but have not discussed?
Have I misunderstood anything you asked for?
What practical plan needs an answer before next week?
What time would you each like for yourselves and for being together?
What, if anything, do you want to revisit next time?
You can skip a question or add one that fits. These prompts do not produce a relationship grade or establish who is the better partner.
A simple agenda you can copy
Start with one thing each person wants to mention. Choose one topic to discuss in more detail. Then write down the practical decision, if there is one, and anything that remains uncertain.
For example: “We agreed to dinner on Thursday. We have not decided about the weekend trip.” Keeping those sentences separate avoids describing an unanswered request as a shared plan.
Keep the conversation open to correction
You could ask: “Is that what you meant, or have I written it differently?” A note is useful only if it represents what was actually discussed. Do not use the agenda to demand agreement or to turn private disclosures into evidence for an argument.
For another reflection exercise, read our guide to relationship values in practice. Tarot is optional symbolic reflection, not a score for the health of the relationship.
A personal question for reflection
If you want a symbolic perspective on this person-linked connection, a Signature Video Reading lets you ask a custom question such as “What might I reflect on before discussing an unresolved question with this person?” Koko personally records the reading. It starts at $99 for 15+ minutes, with standard delivery in 7–10 days. Optional 24-hour Express adds $49.
Read our guide to choosing a love reading before selecting a format. Readings are for entertainment and reflection, with no guaranteed outcomes; they do not establish another person’s thoughts or promise an outcome.