Relationship values examples become more specific when you connect a word to an action. Honesty might mean correcting an impression you gave; reliability might mean confirming a plan you agreed to. Use examples to describe what matters to you, then ask what the same words mean to your partner.
Move from a value word to an example
Nir Eyal’s discussion of relationship values invites readers to identify what matters to them and consider whether their use of time reflects those priorities. The examples below are exercises to adapt, not a compatibility test or a prediction of lasting love.
Choose one word you actually use when describing the relationship you want. Complete: “For me, this would look like…” Then name an action rather than another abstract quality.
Four examples to consider
Honesty: “If I change my mind about a plan, I will say so rather than continuing to imply I agree.”
Reliability: “When I promise to confirm a time, I will either confirm it or explain that I cannot.”
Independence: “I want time for my own interests as well as time together.”
Care: “I want to ask what support is welcome before deciding what help to offer.”
These sample statements may not represent your priorities. Change the action if the wording describes what you think you should want instead of what you mean.
Ask what the word means to each of you
Two people can choose the word quality time and still propose different plans. In a sample conversation, one person might want an evening at home while the other proposes going out. Ask about the actual preference instead of assuming the shared label settles it.
You could say: “When you say quality time, what would that look like this weekend?” Their answer gives you a proposal to discuss, not an obligation to accept.
Use examples without turning them into scores
As an optional note, write the value, one action you want to practise and one question you want to ask. Avoid grading a partner against expectations you have not communicated.
You can also use our relationship check-in agenda for a separate conversation. A reading may offer symbolic reflection on your question, but cannot certify compatibility or guarantee a future together.
A personal question for reflection
If you want a symbolic perspective on this person-linked connection, a Signature Video Reading lets you ask a custom question such as “What values am I weighing in my connection with this person?” Koko personally records the reading. It starts at $99 for 15+ minutes, with standard delivery in 7–10 days. Optional 24-hour Express adds $49.
Read our guide to choosing a love reading before selecting a format. Readings are for entertainment and reflection, with no guaranteed outcomes; they do not establish another person’s thoughts or promise an outcome.